(Note to media:  the most effective way to get in touch with me is to use the contact form on this site with a legitimate contact name, e-mail address, and phone number.)

Well, here’s a fine how do you do.

In a Facebook group devoted to political discussion, the assertion was made that waterboarding isn’t torture.  Of course, this is patently ridiculous – waterboarding is torture under both US and international law.

Okay, fine.  The guy who originally said it is just playing the idiot conservative anyway, and he does a good job of it.  I bear no ill will toward him.

And then here comes a fella calling himself “Scardog Bones.”

Ol’ Scardog – who appears, but is not confirmed to be William Wayne Alsip of Corbin, Kentucky (a woman listed on his Facebook profile as his sister gives her maiden name as Alsip, and he refers to himself as “Wayne” in his profile) - insists that waterboarding isn’t torture.  His exact words were:

“no american law calls waterboarding TORTURE”

To which I responded:

No American law calls shoving a hot coathanger up your dick torture, either. That mean it's okay if I do it to you?

And that’s where things got interesting.  I’ve screenshotted the entire conversation, and Mr. “Bones’” profile page, but here’s the first relevant passage:

there is no PHYSICAL harm from water boarding. now sir wanna try to play your game with me? i WILL show you what torture REALLY is. count on it

Now my first response was “yeah, whatever.”  Then I got to thinking about it and went the route I always go when I’m threatened by some blazing moron:  I posted my home address, invited him to drop on by, we’ll have a couple of brews, and if he still feels like torturing me he’s welcome to give it his best shot.

Sensing that he’d block me and try to erase the evidence as soon as he figured out that he’d stepped in a mess, I loaded up his profile page…and right there at the top I see:

Worked at ricksantorum.com

Well, now.  That puts things in a whole new light.  I’d already decided to file an abuse complaint…but being threatened with torture by someone who worked for the current leading Republican presidential contender?

I figure that’s legit news.  So now it’s news, and it’s public, so if I should meet with a frothy accident in the future, you know where to look.

Mr. Alsip – assuming that’s his name, it’s as good a label as any for now - may reside in the 859 area code, which is north-central Kentucky – Lexington, Fayette, Campbell, Madison, Garrard, Mercer, Pendleton, Nicholas, Kenton, Harrison, Boyle, Clark, Washington, Woodford, Bourbon, Montgomery, Jessamine, and Boone counties.

Perhaps someone with better resources than I can find out of this fool really worked for the Santorum site?  Certainly he didn’t lie about it just for my sake, but the possibility does exist that he’s lying about it regardless.  If someone finds out for sure, let me know, would you?

Note that I’ve shut comments off on this article.  I don’t need any well-meaning friends or family getting emotionally involved and crossing any lines themselves.  You can find his Facebook profile at https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002988210707  Please DO NOT attempt to contact this man in any sort of move in my defense.  Let my colleagues in the media handle it.  There is no reason to cause trouble for any innocent bystanders.  I do not want anyone harassed, or even contacted, over this, beyond legitimate attempts by legitimate media to ascertain the truth of his identity and his relationship with the Santorum campaign.  I just want the world to see what kind of people support and work for the Republican presidential candidates, and I want to be sure there’s a public record in case this guy’s actually stupid enough to show up at my house.  If he does, I’m quite capable of dealing with it.

Perhaps the people listed as his sister and cousin (no, not the same person LOL) will be more forthcoming about this man’s real identity, but I can’t make the calls myself – it’ll have to be legitimate media without a vested interest in the situation beyond reporting on it.

(Full disclosure:  I am not at all certain that this man actually worked for anyone or anything related to Rick Santorum…but he is the one making the claim, not me.  And the guy is threatening, from Kentucky, to torture people because of a Facebook conversation, not three days after a couple was shot and killed for defriending someone on Facebook right next door in Tennessee.  I have done my best to indicate in every possible way that I do not know for a fact that this man has anything to do with the Santorum campaign, or ever did…but the objective truth is that he claims that relationship, and therefore it is not a breach of ethics or any act of dishonesty on my part to report that claim as part of this story.  If it turns out he’s just another lying internet bully…you’ll have to address your frustration at having been misled to him.)