OpinionStrong, Supported EmotionModerate-High AdultMild; Sex, Lang. PartisanLiberal What's this?
I’m a rock and roll guy. That’s never been a secret. I’ve played drums since I was eight years old, and over the course of 33 years I’ve picked up a little guitar and vocals as well.
So I’ve got nothing against loud guitars and thumping metal drums and bass. In fact, they’re in my blood.
I’ve also got nothing against hunting, in and of itself. I’ve never been a hunter myself, but I have nothing against it. In fact, I enjoy a lot of wild game, especially venison, and of course with a rich native American background it would be pretty self-loathing of me to be a member of PETA or something.
I just want to get those things said so that nobody mistakes my abject loathing for the walking caricature of manhood known as Ted Nugent for some “fur is murder” or “rock and roll music is evil” trip.
So with the disclaimers out of the way, I say this to Ted Nugent:
You’re a coward, a buffoon, and an embarrassment to this country and to rock music. You’re a bad liar, and a psychopathic egomaniac with less redeeming value than the average flatulence. You suck, and what little interest I’ve had in your music over the years has been completely obliterated by two decades’ worth of your rampant stupidity, misogyny, racism, and ignorance. Playing guitar is the only thing you do well, and frankly given your obvious and undeniable talent in that realm, I think it’s obvious that your horribly abrasive and ugly personality has done you far more harm than good.
So What’s The Problem?
My first distaste for Nugent came in the wake of Curt Cobain’s suicide. I was never a great big Nirvana fan like so many of my contemporaries, but I enjoyed them and I thought it was a tragic loss when Cobain died. But not Ted, oh no. Cobain’s body had barely cooled before Nugent appeared on the Rockline radio show to tell the world that he “didn’t like” Cobain and he was “glad he’s dead.”
Not too cool, Ted. But hey, guy’s got a big mouth, trying to keep his name in the papers while Nirvana and what came to be known as “grunge” were nuking his career…just business, right?
Yeah, except it’s a habit Ted has, talking smack about dead people to get his name in the papers. When Pantera/Damageplan guitarist “Dimebag Darrell” was shot and killed onstage by a deranged fan, Nugent’s response was…well, read it yourself:
[I] never thought too highly of anyone foolish enough to take on the nickname of a life-destroying dope product and promote such family-destroying conduct on stage…
I did hear their version of 'Cat Scratch Fever' and it was exceedingly white. No soul, no balls, no feel. Caucasian all the way. Elements of dope, booze and heroin disconnect quite apparent as usual. There is no excuse for such horrifically negative, irresponsible, criminal, America-wrecking behavior as such chimp-like substance abuse. Period. They appeared as Ozzy-like zombies on TV. Ya think. American drunks and dopers are allahpuke terrorists' favorite allies. Damn them. Damn them all.
So here’s a guy who gets shot, and Nugent’s response is…to throw out a bunch of racist, condescending insults, likening the deceased to “allahpuke terrorists” and finishing up with a respectful “Damn them all.”
Funny thing is, Ted Nugent himself is easily one of the most “Caucasian” and “white” of all the rock musicians out there. His songs are predictably marked by straight 4/4 boom-tap, boom-boom-tap. No gracenotes, no funk, no soul…but he seems to think he’s channeling Robert Johnson every time he picks up a guitar.
Of course, there’s the whole thing about his remarks directed at Courtney Love – who is admittedly not going to win any “mom of the year” awards – shortly after Cobain’s death. More more to the point, directed at Cobain’s infant daughter:
And the only way that girl..will have a normal childhood is when that worthless, addicted slut of a mother dies, and she'll be given to parents that give a damn.
Hey, you know, guy’s got a right to his opinion.
Except the whole thing with having given two children of his own up for adoption, and having a couple of others out of wedlock that he had to be sued to support. And then there’s that whole bit in the late 70’s where he was screwing a 17 year old Hawaiian girl and convinced her parents to sign over guardianship to him. While he was married to his first wife. And he never married the girl.
But who am I to judge? Little older-man younger-woman thing, hey that’s cool. I’ve argued against our culture’s rather odd views on sex and sexuality myself before. I just think it’s awfully hypocritical for a guy to preach family values when he’s giving his own kids away to adoption agencies, refusing to support the ones he acknowledges, and banging a minor…but it’s all rock and roll, right?
On the Prowl
And hey, nothing is more rock and roll than Nugent, just ask him. He’ll tell you. You want that visceral root of the music, you get into the hunt. You go track wild game and you kill it. You tell people how much you respect your prey…except he doesn’t.
Professional hunters have reported that off-camera when he’s not playing to the crowd, Nugent is in it for the kill, and only for the kill. One hunting guide in Hawaii called Nugent “…unethical. He shoots at anything. You should kill what you can use. He just likes to kill a lot of animals.” Nugent himself, in unguarded moments, will reveal this as well. “Nobody hunts just put meat on the table,” he says. “I don’t hunt for meat. I hunt to hunt,” he says.
No respect for his prey. No respect for the environment. Everything’s a target to good old Nuge, and anything that appears to be respect for his targets or the environment they inhabit is simply Nugent advocating for his own preferences. He doesn’t care about the environment because it sustains life…he cares about it because it sustains targets.
Including heads of state. "Obama, he's a piece of shit. I told him to suck on my machine gun. Hey Hillary, you might want to ride one of these (he was holding two machine guns) into the sunset, you worthless bitch." This was a couple of months after he showed up to Texas governor Rick Perry’s inauguration ball wearing a Confederate Flag shirt (a decision which Nugent insists Perry had “no problem” with).
So let’s see…he lays claim to the heritage of black blues artists, using the word “Caucasian” to criticize other artists’ work. He claims to be the all-American, the Great Patriot. He does these things…and then runs around wearing the flag of a group of states who tried to break away from the United States of America in order to preserve their right to hold black people as property, slaves. And it gets better – the Irish-descended Nugent also outfitted himself in ceremonial native American headdress for the event.
Yeah. A white guy in a rebel flag and a headdress, claiming to be a “patriot.”
But that’s not the end of Nugent’s hypocrisy. You see, Nugent was born in 1948, which put him smack dab in the middle of the draft for Vietnam.
Of course, being the gun-toting man’s man of a patriot that he is, he jumped to the head of the line and begged to be sent over and take out the evil commie menace, right?
Wrong. What he did, literally, was crap his pants.
That’s not a euphemism. In an interview with High Times magazine – a strange venue to start, for such a virulent anti-drug crusader - Nugent says:
"I got 30 days' notice of the physical," Nugent told them. "I ceased cleansing my body. Two weeks before the test I stopped eating food with nutritional value. A week before, I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. My pants got crusted up."
Nugent now claims this isn’t true…except his Selective Service record (pictured) seems to support the original story. He pulled two student deferments…and finally, taking a physical, got that “big juicy 4F” that he bragged about in that interview. Admittedly the selective service record does not give details, but IV-F classification is “physically, mentally, or morally unfit for service.”
I think we can eliminate “physically” from that list.
Just Another Right-Wing Hypocrite
I could go on for days about how pathetic and disgusting this guy is, from his casual use of the N-word, to his habitual description of blacks as “pieces of [excrement],” to his hyper-nationalist hate-mongering toward any non-white, non-US persons. His ridiculous caricatures of “manhood” in song titles like “My Love Is Like A Tire Iron” or “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang,” are an embarrassment to masculinity. With lyrics that seem to fly in the face of his anti-drug position (“I’ve been smokin’ for so long,” “The stakes are high, and so am I…”) combined with ridiculous, infantile sexual references (“I make a pussy purr with the stroke of my hand”), Nugent isn’t just an anachronism – he’s a coward, a scared little boy afraid that someone’s going to catch on to his essential insecurity about his penis, an insecurity he tries and fails to disguise with braggadocio and big guns.
Sure, he does some charitable work…when the cameras are on. He had no problem running Dimebag Darrell down as a druggie loser, but didn’t hesitate to get involved in the public gesture of honor for Darrell…because it looks good for the cameras and gets his name on a poster.
All that flash, all that style, all that mouth…but when you peel away the posturing and posing, all you’re left with is a draft-dodger that crapped his pants for a week rather than serving his country when he was called.
Now he makes a big show of flying in and out of war zones giving concerts. “Supporting the troops,” he calls it, but then says that “government employees are rip-off artists that demand more than they produce. What’s not to despise?”
What’s Not To Despise?
Indeed, Mr. Nugent, what’s not to despise about a guy who crapped his pants to avoid war, kills animals for the sheer enjoyment of the brutality involved (and that’s not a statement against hunting), makes a big public show of “supporting the troops” knowing he not only refused to serve himself but routinely insults those troops in interviews, and agitates for a lawless, war-torn America that would make the streets of Rwanda or Somalia look like pastoral scenes from a duck pond, where anyone who doesn’t speak English should be shot.
He says “I’d like all the thieves to be killed,” but fails to acknowledge his own theft of support from his own children which was only corrected by a court. He says any woman who is raped and doesn’t kill her attacker deserves to be raped.
In short, Ted Nugent is everything about America that is broken, twisted, ugly, shameful, hateful, ignorant, evil, and wrong. The only time he does a good thing is either by accident or to puff up his own ego.
I liked you a lot more, Ted, before I realized just who you are.
Why sit on the beach when you could be stabbing a wild pig? --- some tourists in Hawaii pay to knife-hunt a boar; day on baldy's mountain. (1995, Jul 25). Wall Street Journal, pp. A.1-A1. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/398478190?accountid=[redacted]