It’s been an interesting couple of weeks for JH, a lot of time spent working on long-aged demons and issues, things that kind of make me who I am – which in many ways is very good, but in some ways is very bad, like having problems trusting people due to having been surrounded most of my life by people who want to use me as long as I’m convenient and then leave me laying sticky, broke, and confused when they’re done.  That’s kind of what this video touches on, in spots, as well as revisiting our friends over at Tuffy Auto Service on Stadium Drive in Kalamazoo, Speedway Gas Stations, and some others.

I’m currently staying in the northern Detroit suburbs with some friends who have been kind enough to offer me both their homes and their ears.  One is a psychotherapist; although we aren’t engaged in formal therapy per se as that could be messy since we have a friendship outside of any ‘therapist-patient’ relationship, she’s an excellent listener, an excellent advisor, and both of them have been immeasurably helpful in more ways than I can count, including giving me a little space and time to stop worrying about other people’s problems and worry about my own…which hopefully will make me more effective in worrying about other people’s, since ultimately that’s what I’m doing in every single one of these videos.  They’ve also been very helpful in suggesting directions I might find both in terms of addressing some of the lingering personality issues that I have (bi-polar?  “just” depressed?  PTSD?  that will have to wait for formal professional diagnosis, but like everything else I’ll put it on my sleeve right next to my heart and let you know.)

These issues have become more important to me lately because I’ve come to realize that they’ve left me literally dysfunctional – as things sit right now I have little to no hope of fitting in to a “normal” life, and unless I become some viral internet superstar via these videos or something else I do, I can’t support myself.  A lot of this relates to all this emotional baggage I’ve been carrying around, some of which has been brought to the forefront by my mom’s passing this last Christmas Eve.

I also wanted to repeat here something I’ve said on my Facebook wall already:  I’m not going to continue getting involved in back-and-forth discussions about my videos.  Not that I don’t appreciate and enjoy your feedback – even when I completely disagree with it LOL – but because I have a bad habit of getting wrapped up in the back and forth and it cuts into my productivity…which isn’t always what it could be even on a good day.  In the end, it’s still all about creating original, compelling content…and while I don’t know how “compelling” any of this is, the more original content I create the better the chances are that someone will see something I’ve done and think it’s good enough to share, and then those people will do the same, and so on.

Enjoy!