Over the last few months I’ve done a lot of talking.  I’ve talked about what I was gonna do with my business, I’ve talked about what I was gonna do in California, I’ve talked about talking.

This may have led some folks to get the impression that all I do is talk.

I’ve done a lot of talking lately about things I want to do here in my home town, as well as things more directly relevant to my own life.  I’ve done a lot of complaining about this and that, I’ve done a lot of discussing the minutiae of my life, but the reality is I’ve been in a holding pattern lately.  Things really sort of hit their nadir during December:  not only was there almost no money to be made driving, but then there’s the whole thing with my brother in law, and then my mom, passing.

(Sidebar:  My daughter pointed out to me that I’d written a long and fawning entry about Joe, but had said barely a word about my mom.  That’s because my feelings about my mom are much more complex and much less resolved.  I do have something in mind, a way to say things, but it’s going to take a while to make it go exactly the way I want it to.  Therefore, I’m not saying anything.  Please don’t misconstrue my lack of verbiage for lack of emotion.)

I know I’ve done a lot of talking and not much doing lately.  Even work on Asylum Lake, the band that Shawn Zimmer and I are putting together, has been at a dead stop for the last couple of months.  I’ve been stuck without transportation or funds for a bit of a while now, and it’s left me pretty hamstrung.

I’ve been taking the ‘down’ time, when I’m not working, to refine my thoughts and follow threads and plan and ruminate and consider. 

I want to make something clear that maybe hasn’t been entirely clear to everyone that it should.  While I’ve not undergone any major personality transplant or some demonstrative or symbolic thing like a tattoo or cutting my hair off, the fact remains:  I am not the guy a lot of people seem to think they’re dealing with.  I’m not the guy I was a year ago, or two, or ten.  I’ve found purpose, vision, and motivation; I’ve crafted a plan that will take me where I want to go, and bring a whole lot of folks with me, all in due time.

Part of that plan includes working around the realistic limitations of time and funds, at least until those limitations can be resolved by delegation and improved cash flow on a personal level.  Part of that plan also includes knowing myself well enough to not give up when I get shut down at one point or another long the way. 

Over the next few weeks you’ll see a return of the content here to less personal and more entertainment and opinion oriented material.  I’ll be shooting more videos, getting more of my photos in order, and launching several different projects, all of which are currently in various stages of planning and/or execution.

For once, finally, I’m going to live my life exactly my way.  I am doing the things I need to do.  I am laying foundation now for things I’ll be doing in six and twelve and thirty months.  I am getting my house in order.  I have enormous plans, and this time it’s not about anyone else’s dream or anyone else’s benefit or profit or direction or execution or name or style or ego.

This time, it’s all me…and when I’m done, there will be no question in the minds of those who have scapegoated me over the years exactly where the real problems lie.

There will also be no question in anyone’s mind that Kalamazoo and southwest Michigan is a natural incubator of exceptional talent and intellect.  The renaissance has begun, even while some people haven’t yet realized there was a decline.

I’ve got my wheels up and rolling.  I have to earn enough money to keep them that way, and put gas in them, and so forth, so that I can do what needs doing.  I should be able to handle that, and I expect to be very busy on my off-days, starting with next Monday.

Don’t mistake a lack of public action for a lack of action.  I’ve been doing plenty.  I’ve just not been talking about it.