Time keeps on slippin’…into the future…

Gonna have to start trying to find other work…didn’t really make enough this weekend to do anything I needed to do other than eat.  I actually enjoy driving most of the time, but the money’s just not there.  I’m going to start looking for other work…if nothing else, maybe something part-time days during the week and still drive on weekends or something.  I meet tons of cool people (and a few tuckfards), plus if I could ever get cash going it’s a great way to publicize this site, Asylum Lake and any other band/s I get involved with, etc.

First three songs we’re working on:  Radar Love  (I will et that bass drum accent behind the shuffle if it’s the last thing I ever do), Livin’ After Midnight, and another one that I’m not going to tell anyone about because I’m singing and playing guitar on it, and when we get it sounding good I want to youtube it and knock people’s socks off.

It feels soooo good to be creative again.  Chad and Cherri tell me that my power cord is making its way here, which just adds to the excitement.  The right grooves in my brain are waking up again, and it’s amazing.  Just a few more pieces need to fall into place.  The biggest, as always, being money :-( but things are definitely coming together, if slowly.

It dawns on me that I’m going to be stuck for outdoor shooting locations, given the whole “winter” thing.  Oh well.

I’m about quivering with excitement, seriously.  Even though the money situation is DEFINITELY not working out the way I’d like it to be right now, things are still going in the right direction.  I can’t thank my old schoolmate Jamie and her husband and my new bandmate Shawn for letting me invade their basement and abuse their instruments.  I am just not a complete human being when I am not being creative; starting this new band and being able to break all the rust loose feels like sliding back into a warm, comfortable bed.  I’m at home there.  I’m me there, as I can be nowhere else.  So thanks a ton, and I hope we can really get this thing rolling soon.

I’ve got a few days off in a row this week.  Along with getting my resume in order and sent out to everyone with an e-mail address, hopefully I get some time to catch up on other things like getting photos up.  Being back home has been amazing for my ego, which in spite of appearances is pretty fragile and has been almost nonexistent for the last…oh 12 years or so.  People still seem to find me intelligent, interesting, and sometimes maybe even a little attractive, and knowing that definitely helps keep my head healthy so I’m not always down on myself and hating life.  and now I’m like this old dude so I can regale the college young’ns with tales of yore when you could catch hole three times a month at club soda and the verve pipe had opened so often for the indigo girls at rick’s cafe that it became a running joke and welcome week always involved a couple of cars being set on fire at the end of Lafayette Street.  It’s a bleeding shame that these cats don’t have Thought Industry, Tongue, Twitch, Four Peace, FAQ, Overman, or even the Erj to rock to anymore.  I toyed with the idea of trying to make a retro-documentary about the local music scene here, but honestly….at best it would just spawn a bunch of bad imitations and hype, half the people involved wouldn’t be the least bit interested (most would cite some variant of artistic integrity), and the end result could never possibly live up to the magic and energy that flowed here then.  It’s still here, it still flows…but far fewer people have their ear to it, and that makes baby Jesus cry.

Big picture for me right now is acquiring my own drums and managing to keep enough money in my pocket to spend as much time as possible playing them.  Hopefully for money, but definitely for the sake of my state of mind.  Definitely itching to perform again…I’ve talked a lot of crap since last time I was on a real stage doing what I do best, and a lot of new technology has come along since then.  I look forward to destroying the confidence of the non-believers ;-)

I’m thisclose to calling an end to the web design business and using lowgenius.com for something else.

I know I come across like some good-old-days sycophant sometimes about the old music scene, and I know that you can’t turn the clock back no matter what you do, but there’s still magic in this town that’s worth believing in and nurturing.  Yeah, I get a lot of drunk party animals in my cab, but I also get a lot of really brilliant and sharp young people who seem to genuinely give a crap about the world they live in.  I make a big show of cynicism because it’s funny and I enjoy making people laugh, and also because when done well it’s thought-provoking, and I enjoy making people think.  I’m really a pretty good-natured and optimistic guy, and often even some of the ‘worst’ stories I tell are told with a laugh that doesn’t always come through when I’m doing video rants or writing.  So for those of you who might worry, or get sick of the negative tone, know that while I’m not always happy with my life, I do always enjoy my life, I’m happy to be alive, I hope to remain so for a good long time yet, and if I don’t I’ll go knowing that I’ve had an amazing life full of places, people, and memories that most folks don’t dare to dream of.  There are things I regret and even genuinely hate myself for and will spend the rest of my life trying to atone for, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to live my life or that I see no beauty or redemption in the world.  There are things that I’d change, chief among them that I’m LONELY and very tired of being single (but still not tired enough to just go with anyone with no regard to whether we’ll work out longer than a week), and the whole money thing, but those are things that I still CAN change, as long as I’m still breathing, so I don’t stress on it too much.

So that’s what’s up for now.  Drop me a line, I’m always glad to hear from people even if I don’t always have time to respond.