- Copyright Information
- Digital Millenium Copyright Act Information
- Other Disclaimers and Information
- "We," "I," "LowGenius," "this site," "these sites," and all similar references are understood to refer to websites owned and operated by John H. DeJong, d/b/a LowGenius Enterprises.
- "You," "the visitor," "user(s)" and other similar references are understood to refer to those who browse to, read, participate in, or contribute to any content on or relating to this site.
- "Obnoxious, litigious jerk" and other similar references are understood to refer to the lawsuit-happy entitlement freaks who make ridiculously verbose legal notices like this necessary
- "Victim," "target," "bonehead," "sacrifice," and other similar references are understood to refer to the aforementioned freaks who make the mistake of trying to intimidate or harass this site, its proprietor, or its users.
- "Alfresco" means "in the fresh air" and is commonly used in reference to dining.
Except where otherwise noted, all information contained on this website is copyright © John H. DeJong. All rights reserved. Material appearing on this website may not be reproduced in whole or in part by any means without express permission from the above-named publisher except for the purposes of parody, education, or review and/or other 'Fair Use' as defined and described by the laws of the United States of America.
Any material not created by the site operator is assumed in good faith by the operators of this website to fall under one of the following categories: licensed, fair use, or public domain.
Some information on this site has no available attribution information known to the site proprietor. In these situations, appropriate notation is made that the original authorship of a given piece is unknown, and the piece is assumed to be in the public domain until authorship is asserted.
If you believe that your copyrighted material is being used unfairly or illegally on this site, please let us know immediately via the contact form. While we can make no guarantee of any particular mode or nature of resolution in advance regarding any particular matter, it is the policy of this website to respect intellectual property both in concept and in terms of legal compliance.
A special note for image galleries, etc.
We may from time to time make images or video available through this site that may be under copyright by an entity other than LowGenius Enterprises, but may contain "metadata" - that is, data about data such as keywords, tags, titles, and descriptions - embedded into the image file. Wherever it does not interfere with the existing copyrights of any prior claimant (such as the providers to Google Maps and Google Maps itself), this data is copyright © LowGenius Enterprises and all rights are reserved.
We reserve the right to publish and publicly comment on any threat, harassment, cease-and-desist notice, strong-arm tactics, or intimidation attempts.
The more reasonable, intelligent, and pleasant you are in letting us know there's an issue, the more reasonable, intelligent, and pleasant we will be in working toward a resolution that all parties can agree on. The contrary also applies.
By using this website, you agree:
- not to use this website to harass, intimidate, or threaten other users
- not to use this website to promote hate speech, violence, obscene material, illegal material, or advocate against any person or group based on ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, religion, or physical appearance
- not to use this website to be an obnoxious jerk. That's my job.
- not to use this website to distribute or link to sites for the intention of distributing unlicensed, copyrighted material.
- You may not display this website or any part thereof in a frame originating on your own website. Not because I'll SUE YOU TO DEATH!!!11! but because it's a pain in the butt, screws up my navigation structure, registers my page impressions on my Google Ads as coming from an unauthorized site, and generally just plain sucks. Just link. Search engines excepted.
- You understand that if you attempt to abuse this website or any of the users on it, I reserve the right to identify and publicly humiliate you.
- You may not (and shouldn't be able to) use this website to gather contact information, assemble mailing lists,or otherwise attempt to aggregate information about my users for your own profit or information.
- You may not use this site to advertise your own sites. Content-relative linking is allowed, but if you think I'm going to be a dumping ground for your get-rich-quick attempts, think again.
- You understand that while I am a major proponent of free speech, this is not a US government website and it is also not public property, and I reserve the right to remove anything and anyone that I find to be disruptive or harassing. Disagree or criticize if you feel the need, but don't be a jerk.
- You understand that this website contains personal information about the site proprietor including information that may pertain to religious, political, or other social opinions which may not be legally used in making determinations for eligibility of employment or contract under federal law.
- You understand that you may not use this site to upload, download, link to, or otherwise propagate malware, spyware, trojan horse programs, keyloggers, rootkits, or the common cold. Not that you should be able to do any of that anyway...but just in case.
- Ditto porn and other 'adult' sites, including slashfic and material of similar nature. We personally have nothing against it, but a) it's a violation of my service agreement with Google AdSense and b) I'm trying to maintain a quality general-interest site here, and 'general interest' does not include your obsession with omni-sexual lizard-men bathed in whipped cream.
In accordance with the Digital Millenium Copyright Act, we will remove any material on this site that is determined to be in violation of copyright. To make a DMCA cease and desist to this website, you are required to submit, in writing, a full description of the disputed content including the URL at which it can be found, as well as some demonstration or evidence of both your legal standing to lodge a complaint as well as the legitimacy of your claim. Targets of DMCA complaints to this site will be duly notified and will have all right of response; if your claim is found to be facetious, deceitful, without merit, or intentionally misleading, you may, at our discretion, be billed by LowGenius Enterprises at the rate of $150/hour for services rendered with a $150 minimum charge.
Other Legal Stuff
This site may contain material that is inappropriate for minors, offensive to individuals, thought-provoking, controversial, engraging, and/or funny as hell. Hopefully all of the above. If that's a problem for you, you have the right to leave and never come back, so don't bother us with lots of complaining about how offended you are. We don't care, and the only likely result will be much laughing and pointing.
LowGenius.Com will, upon service of a court order by a duly empowered court with the proper jurisdiction (Granville County, North Carolina, USA) release information about its users in response to a subpoena. We will not, and are under no legal obligation to, release personal information about our users under any other circumstances in response to the demands of any person, corporation, or government, period. We make no guarantee that any information available will be complete and/or accurate, nor do we guarantee compliance with an order of any court or any demand of any non-government individual or organization that does not have jurisdiction and/or legal standing to demand the information in question in the unincorporated area of Granville County, North Carolina, USA, where the offices of LowGenius Enterprises are located.
As always, the exception to this disclosure policy is in the instance of any person, organization, or entity contacting us with threats, harassment, etc., in which case we reserve the right to publish and comment on it as we see fit, as well as whatever cooperation may be necessary with government agencies.
Message board postings and comments to blog entries remain the property of their authors. However, submissions to any contact form, 'Q&A' or 'Advice' function of this website become the property of LowGenius Enterprises, and may be used for the purposes of publicity, parody, advertising, or derivative works as deemed appropriate by LowGenius Enterprises, including the editing of original content for reasons of space, readability, or enhancement.
Nothing on this site should be construed as an effective substitute for proper legal, medical, ethical, or other professional advice. While we do have professional expertise in certain areas, we make no warrantee or claim as to the fitness or merchantability of any of the contents of this site for any purpose. If you want personal advice that you can hold me responsible for, I'm available as an independent consultant via LowGenius.Com.
This site employs the use of parody, celebrity impersonation, criticism, comment on public people and organizations, quality reviews of products and services, and other recognized forms of free speech. If you don't like what is said about you here, chances are you have nobody to blame but yourself.
It is important to understand - and it's also a bit of legal CYA for me to state clearly - that the use of any name, likeness, or alleged statement by any public persona in any article on this site listed as 'Parody' should not be taken seriously. Unless otherwise indicated, readers should assume that no celebrity, government official, church leader, or other notable public figure has endorsed, condoned, or participated in anything on this site. Any exceptions to this will be clearly indicated.
Finally, it is the policy of LowGenius.Net and proprietor John H. DeJong that if you've actually read all of this nonsense, you've got even less of a life than I do for writing it...but I also mean every word. Enjoy the site.